The Risks

I say this all the time, but I am sorry that my friends are not as cool as yours.
Everyone out there is just going to have to realize that the people in my life kick some extraordinary trash. My friends are amazing, and they would do anything for me. I really, truly appreciate it. Here is a short list of things they have to put up with on a daily basis:

*I like to cuddle, a lot. I probably force people into doing it, and by probably, I mean I do. All of my housemates have just succumbed to this, in fact all of my friends have. I have so many friends who say things like, I am not a touchy person. And then I say something like, but I am the acceptation right? I usually am. If I am not, I will cuddle you until you like it. The other morning I woke up, went downstairs, and my dearest dear Mindy was lying on the couch, I laid on top of her. We didn’t really talk, I just laid there. Then when I woke up all the way, I went to the kitchen to eat my breakfast; she went on with her life. I will randomly jump you in random places. Like at the grocery store, usually in the frozen food section. I don’t know why. Mostly, I think I just get so overcome by love and adoration for the people in my life that I cannot control it any longer, and I have to hug them. Sorry I am a creep.

* I like being a creepy person. The more obsessive-stalker ish it sounds, the better.

*I have no filter between my mouth and brain.

*If given the opportunity, I will say, “That’s what she said.” One Christmas, I said it so much that my Grandma started saying it. Last year, when my dad’s birth mother was in town, my mom and I had to make up a code word for the phrase, you know, so we could be pervy and not have the birth mom pass judgments.

*Sometimes, I will go for weeks without talking to you. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t in my thoughts, you probably are, I am just terrible at keeping in touch that way.

* I love talking about “taboo” things. I studied sexuality in college, it was basically my minor. I will probably talk about it all the time if I could get away with it.

*When I get upset, really really upset, I bake everything in my house. Once, I went downstairs to Trent’s kitchen, pulled all of the flour, sugar, and eggs I could find, and proceeded to bake a cake, two different types of cookies, bread, and maybe brownies. I think there were rice crispy treats up in that too.

* I have to wash my hands twice, so you will run out of soap all the time.

*I will start cleaning your stuff randomly.

*I will say inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times.

*It takes me about three months to mail anything. Currently, I have KaeLee’s break up CDs sitting on my desk, right beside Denice’s birthday present, and Dad’s Father Day gift. The post office is just so hard.

*I am SUPER passive-aggressive. Sorry, but not really, but kind of.

*I might be more indecisive than passive-aggressive, I am not positive though.

*I think I am real funny.

*I think I am more clever than funny.

*If given the choice, I will start a fight with you in the store, a pretend fight where no one’s feelings will get hurt. Preferably in the family planning section, Trent is the best at this. My mom is not too shabby either, although, the family planning section arguments aren’t nearly as funny with her.

*I will probably try to be your mom. :S

*I will touch you. A lot.

*I will judge you on your music and book taste… And I will not be quiet about my own opinions. (Special apology for Chelsey on that one… I love you and I love that you like farmer music… even if it “isn’t my thing”)

*I am nerdy, I will pass off my nerdy things to you. (Again, Chelsey comes to mind.)

*I whine about how I don’t truly write anymore, but I never do anything about it.

*When I don’t eat protein in a while one of two things will happen. A) I will become a super horrible person, and I will probably try to eat your soul. B) I become super emotional, whiney, and I will probably cry. (HINT: Just feed me a chicken nugget or a string cheese and tell me to get over myself)

* I will replay our conversations in my head, especially when if we got into an argument or had to have a serious discussion. I will try not to do this, but I will lay awake for nights on end obsessing over it. I won't tell you about it though.

*I will make gag sounds if you touch your eyes excessively. It is absolutely disgusting. Don’t do that.

*It will annoy me, obsessively, if you do not keep up with your own obsessive compulsive behaviors. Be consistent people.

*I will love you, and I will probably always love you. But I really, really, really, really, really, mean it.

*Generally, I try to be super honest in my life. If you give me a specific question,
I will give you a specific answer. Sometimes I am not very forthcoming with information, so you may have to ask.

*I will talk about people like you know them personally. Not in a gossipy way, but in the way that something funny happens, and I will tell you about it, because I think you care about their lives.

*I will make us sound like a couple, even though we aren't actually a couple. Like, if you ask me where we should go, I will say, somewhere romantic.

*Really cheesy romantic things make me uncomfortable, even though I always want things to be this weird romantic that only exists in my head. Like, mix tape romantic. Never roses and staring into each other's eyes romantic. Gag.

Anyhow, thank you friends and family for being my friend. I love you.