It is now Monday and it has been a really weird weekend/day... For those of you who don't know, I have two jobs currently. Well, had. About fifteen minutes before I was supposed to be at the daycare for my Monday/Tuesday closing shift, I got a text from my boss that said, "Don't bother coming in. We are now on vacation until further notice." I promptly called and asked what this meant. And it apparently means that I am out of a job until further notice... sort of a permanent vacation. No one is sure if it will actually start up again. No one knows if we are going to be paid for the hours we worked for the last month ish. So that is super, super, super neat.
I am trying to be okay with this. Trying to find the positive in all of it, but honestly, it feels really strange. I have worked at that daycare for almost as long as I have lived in Cedar. Which has almost been ten years. Which is insane. If you would have gone back and told my twenty year old self where things would be at for me right now, I probably wouldn't have believed you. But, I am really glad it hasn't turned out the way I thought it would then. Or even the way I thought it would be a year ago. I have realized that my last few posts have sounded really negative, and I didn't necessarily mean them to come across that way. Mostly, I am trying to work out these thoughts in my head. And for the most part the thoughts aren't overtly present, but every once in a while they boil to the top and I just have to write them out... because I am a writer and that is what I need to do. But they are all too close to the surface to do any actual writing about it. Its complicated, haha.
Anyway, back to the point. I am not working at the daycare anymore. I am not really sure how to take that or what it means. I walked into the building on Saturday to try and pick up my check, and the entire building was empty. (Which wasn't really a surprise or why we are on 'vacation', we were moving to a different building anyway.) It was completely empty. I wish I could explain feeling that washed over me. And then I started to think about all the kids I had taught, all the kids who I had as babies, who I watched have their first steps, helped sing their first abc's, helped with homework... and realized the large majority of them are so big now. In some ways, it made me feel like I have been a part of something bigger than myself and in some ways I am not really sure what has happened with all that time.
So with that door shut, its time to look for an open window, I guess. I think I am going to try to wait to find a second job until after the holidays... In the meantime, I am going to look for some freelance writing jobs or something... If you hear of anything or want to hit me up for some writing, let me know... Good thing I said in my last post that I was going to try to start writing again. See? Silver linings.
I am trying to be okay with this. Trying to find the positive in all of it, but honestly, it feels really strange. I have worked at that daycare for almost as long as I have lived in Cedar. Which has almost been ten years. Which is insane. If you would have gone back and told my twenty year old self where things would be at for me right now, I probably wouldn't have believed you. But, I am really glad it hasn't turned out the way I thought it would then. Or even the way I thought it would be a year ago. I have realized that my last few posts have sounded really negative, and I didn't necessarily mean them to come across that way. Mostly, I am trying to work out these thoughts in my head. And for the most part the thoughts aren't overtly present, but every once in a while they boil to the top and I just have to write them out... because I am a writer and that is what I need to do. But they are all too close to the surface to do any actual writing about it. Its complicated, haha.
Anyway, back to the point. I am not working at the daycare anymore. I am not really sure how to take that or what it means. I walked into the building on Saturday to try and pick up my check, and the entire building was empty. (Which wasn't really a surprise or why we are on 'vacation', we were moving to a different building anyway.) It was completely empty. I wish I could explain feeling that washed over me. And then I started to think about all the kids I had taught, all the kids who I had as babies, who I watched have their first steps, helped sing their first abc's, helped with homework... and realized the large majority of them are so big now. In some ways, it made me feel like I have been a part of something bigger than myself and in some ways I am not really sure what has happened with all that time.
So with that door shut, its time to look for an open window, I guess. I think I am going to try to wait to find a second job until after the holidays... In the meantime, I am going to look for some freelance writing jobs or something... If you hear of anything or want to hit me up for some writing, let me know... Good thing I said in my last post that I was going to try to start writing again. See? Silver linings.
So, I have this paper due..... ;)
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