An Open Letter

*I need to get this out of my system, it has been bothering me for a while… and I just want it to be said. To the persons involved, I just hope you know I love you with all my heart and I wish I could make it hurt less. I love you.

An open letter to someone who should know better:

Mr. Asinine Pernicious Coward,

I would just like to inform you that I feel you are a completely ridiculous human being, and I think you need to understand that your actions deeply, deeply affect other people. I wish you could see the hurt you have caused certain people in your life. I hold both of these individuals near and dear to my heart, one of which is probably one of my best friends in the entire world, a word which I hope she will forgive me for using here, as you have completely spoiled those words and the meaning behind them.

I feel you have acted, and continue to act, in careless and damaging way, without regard for your actions. I would really love to smack you upside the head and make you see and understand what you are doing, what you have done, the irreparable damage you have caused, but most of all, what it is exactly that you are losing. You, my dear selfish, silly, silly, human, are missing out on one of the best people this world has to offer. She is kind. She is intelligent. She is funny. She is honest. She knows what it is to be a friend. She is a good listener. She is brave. She is strong. She is faithful and hopeful. She knows her heart and doesn’t question it. She is weird, but in the best possible meaning of the word. She completely envelopes and redefines the word, beautiful. She is nonjudgmental. She constantly helps those around her to be better people. She knows what it is to have a relationship with her Heavenly Father, and she lives it every day of her life. She isn’t ashamed that the previously stated relationship exists. She understands what it is to love people for who they are, for what they will become. She has a fantastic wardrobe. She has fantastic music taste. She is a pretty damn good cook when she wants to be. She is so much more than all of this too. She might be one of the best people I know.

And I could say a lot of the same things about the other person in this situation, and I do not know her as intensely or as well as the above mentioned individual. But both of these girls are strong, amazing women, and you are missing out more than you can ever know.

But you don’t get to share in that anymore, and it is your own fault. You have made her hurt so deeply and have not done anything to redeem yourself, in fact, you keep doing quite the opposite. You are being unfair in your treatment of another human being, and I wish you understood that. From everything I can see or hear about, you don’t even regret it. Maybe you do, but you are just better at hiding it.

Not to tell you what to do with your life or how to make your choices, but I just think if you have a girlfriend of three months, not even three months, and you chose that over a twelve plus year friendship, you have a problem. If you make this choice based on the fact that your 18 year-old girlfriend is intimidated with you being friends with people of the opposite sex, I think you have a bigger problem on your hands. It means you are missing trust. Shouldn’t a relationship be based on trust? I dated someone for a long time that chose to tell me who I could and could not be friends with. He constantly accused me for sleeping with my friends of the opposite gender, he belittled me for the fact that I cared deeply for people, people that weren’t him. It was hard to figure out why he thought I was sleeping with them, when I wouldn’t even sleep with him. But all of his accusations were because he was in fact cheating. I lived in that relationship, where neither one of us trusted each other, where he told me the things I could do and couldn’t do, for far too long. I learned my lessons. Now, I am not implying that she is cheating on you or that your relationship is a bad thing. But I am saying that if she cannot be comfortable with the people who are important to you in your life, the people who have helped you to become who you are, the people who have been there for you when no one else has been, the people who are still willing to forgive you after everything you have done, then something is wrong. That is a giant red flag. I just hope you can see it.

Also, as a side note, I am not sure where you get off doing what you did to a person you consider one of your best friends at a time that you did. You knew the hurt and the hard times she was going through, and you added to that by tossing her to the side. I have no idea how you can like yourself knowing just that part alone. That may sound like big hurtful words, and I am sorry for them. Kind of. I feel like they are true. And if I was in your shoes, I would have a very, VERY hard time living with myself knowing just that part alone, and we both know there is way more to it than that one single part.

I think you are being extremely foolish in letting these people go from your life. I think you are being a coward for not owning up to it. I might actually have an iota of respect for you if you could at least own up to your choices as of late or even if you would just apologize and actually mean it.

I don’t mean to insert myself in place where I do not belong, but it is so extremely hard for me to sit ideally by and watch you continue to hurt these people that I love so very much. Friends don’t treat friends this way.

Be a better friend.
Be a better person.

Also, you can stick it.

Thanks.